Still Time To Buy Popcorn

Yours Truly Firmly Planted In Someone's Fantasy
Knowing how secretly super-important I am (yes, I'm in on that secret), and knowing how James Cameron has made inside-references to me/my material in the past in a big way, I figured that, when I did get around to seeing the biggest movie in the history of cinema, "Avatar", I would very likely see something myself-related. So on Sunday I broke the suspense and went to see "Avatar".

I was not prepared.

Word on the street was that the manufacturers of Coca-Cola would love for me to make some kind of mention of their product during the course of the blog I write on how "Avatar" relates to "me" (me/my material). Which this blog isn't - that will be another blog. I am not yet ready for that moment in the history of mankind, which is to say, I appreciate the significance my reaction might ultimately have attached to it, and I am only too aware of my obligattion to try to do justice to that kind of attention. So stay tuned, between my day job as a secretary and the countless, unending assaults on my attention that descend upon me when I'm not at work, I should nevertheless be able to summon the strength and inspiration needed to be equal to this task.

Where was I? Oh yes, and then word on the street was that the manufacturers of Pepsi would really love for that blog to include some mention of their product. Or short of that, if I at least could refrain from mentioning Coca-Cola. Or communism, right, I think it was the Pepsi people who wanted communism kept out of it, for some reason. No communism and no Coca-Cola, that was the word on the street. And then all of these other soft drink manufacturers starting putting word out on the street about what they wanted to see in this upcoming blog of mine. Dr. Pepper apparently hates existential tangents. And if I told you which soft drink manufacturer is campaigning against nihilism you wouldn't believe me - that was something I didn't expect this experience to teach me! Well, forget it, boys. Tapwater, your day is at hand, you have a very powerful ally in me (okay, tapwater only after its passed through a Brita filter, but if you say I said that I'll deny it).

And then, suddenly, from amidst all of the unceasing, constant chatter from the beverage world, a rumble from the good people who make a very popular snack food began to emerge. Followed by anxious whispers from their competitors. This snack food talk, it was like some new, non-soft drink-esque mood had descended upon word on the street. It reminded me of the effort to raise money for Haiti, if that doesn't sound too cynical.

Don't they all want a piece of that upcoming blog of mine. Ah yes, to control the mind of the secretly super-important Jonathan David Steinhoff. Yet it should all be something I'm used to. You know, "Jurassic Park" was once the most successful movie in the history of cinema, and I was secretly responsible for Spielberg making that one. And then there was "Titanic", another James Cameron movie that also was once the most successful in the history of cinema - I was a big influence on an important part of that one as well. Would it be tangental at this point to bring up my influence on The Beatles, The Stones, Saturday Night Live, Madonna, Sting, etc., etc. (my deepest apologies to the multitude of greats omitted here).

Hopefully this will someday be regarded as my strange way of trying to touch on the idea that there really is reason to consider that there really has been a real degree of real effort to influence my real brainwaves. And yes, I mean by subterfuge - oops, I just lost half the people who want to take me seriously, they see I'm off the deep end. Besides, who ever used sophisticated means to control a powerful person? Only in dimestore novels! Ignore those sub-rhythms you hear coming through the sounds in my car and air-conditioning and computer and so on and so forth, no amount of money could make that happen! But please, may I at least turn up the TV to better ignore them, or the radio, something I strangely imagine I even need to do in the "dead of night"?


Something To Do With 24
I think I may have seen Kiefer Sutherland again, this time within fifteen minutes of my leaving the "Avatar" movie theater. If so, it could relate to what I wrote about him two blogs ago (February 4th). If not, it could have been.... someone who resembles Kiefer Sutherland? Paid by someone to drive by me? Or.... it might not have been him at all in any way, shape or form, pure and simple? Yes, of course. In any event, I must believe that it could never serve the "common good" for me to attempt any serious effort to find out one way or the other who it was. What kind of person would that make me?


At The End Of The Day
Strangely, this seems to lead my thoughts to the fact that Doug Fieger of The Knack/"My Sharona" fame just died the other day. Is there any point in my mentioning that I once had a half-hour conversation with Doug Fieger? It happens that he was once a bandmate of someone who worked where I worked (I was living in Denver at the time), someone who started working at the company after I had been there half-a-year or so. Someone who also lived in the same apartment building as me, with the help of a recommendation from me. This was around the time when "Double Fantasy" was relatively soon to be released, down the road a little ways. That individual, who Fieger acknowledged as once having been his bandmate, had once been on an album produced by Jack Douglas, a producer on the verge of producing Lennon and Ono's "Double Fantasy", another work I was an influence on. At the same time there was a girl at our company whose fiance was good friends with the saxophonist on Ono's "Season of Glass", though a few things happened before that album came into being. When I changed jobs to another part of town she wound up in that building as well. I have serious reason to believe that this individual, the Fieger bandmate that is, was an intermediary between Lennon and myself, though there appear to have been a few others as well between Lennon and myself at that time (and other times as well, since I was nine or ten). Fieger and this co-worker of mine had once been in a group called "Rats" (not "Boomtown Rats"), and it was this co-worker who told me how I could get the new "Double Fantasy" at a Denver mall called Cinderella City several days after they failed to release it on its announced release date. Did I mention "Double Fantasy" includes a song containing the line, "No rats aboard the magic ship" and "we believe in pumpkins that turn into princess"?


Pick 24 Random Hours
However, I seem to be rambling, especially if you fail to see any thread between the things I describe (always a reason for seeing someone as rambling!). I must make more of an effort to confine myself to that which even the lowest common denominator amongst us would perceive as relevant, so as to ensure against the possible appearance of rambling.

Especially when I get around to addressing the fact that the most successful movie in the history of cinema inside-references me most very significantly. I do not want to lose not one person when that time comes (perhaps my next blog). Or instead I should just count numbers sequentially, no one would be able to accuse me of a non sequitur at such a moment as that. Unless it should be that particular kind of thinking that we will all need me to distance myself from when I do write that blog....

By the way, "The Wolfman" will once again (see my previous blog of February 12th) come into the picture on that occasion as well.