The REAL Key To Good Health

Well, the "game" is finally over - healthcare reform legislation has passed!  And so now, at last, the truth regarding my important role can finally be told:

1. Rachel Maddow, as some of us have come to realize, has emerged as one of the true, vital, positive spirits of the new "the-left-doesn't-need-to-hide-its-we-won't-kiss-your-ass-with-self-defeatist-submissivism-you-rightwing-creeps" movement.  (This is an extremely new movement, in fact, I just named it a moment or two ago.)
2. Rachel Maddow recently called upon her viewers to participate in a "Filibuster Challenge" contest to rename the word, "filibuster", as an expression of outrage over the Republican "filibuster-the-world-into-submission" movement. (This is an extremely old movement, though I just named it a moment or two ago, and though the word "filibuster" only appears in that movement's recent incarnation, for in other incarnations the word "filibuster" is interchangeable with other words, such as "redneck", "slander", "swiftboat", e.g., "swiftboat-the-world-into-submission", etc.).
3. I made three submissions to Rachel Maddow's filibuster contest.  My important submission was #3586 Feb. 13, 2010, 1:43pm, as JonathanDS:  "What we need to "re-brand" is the phrase 'kill legislation' - the word 'kill' couldn't swat a fly anymore as an attention-grabber. So I suggest the phrase, 'murder legislation'.  We need to see the blood on their hands, sense that there are lives on the line, not just go for clever."  This submission should still be viewable, though I don't know for how long, by registering at newsvine.com and then going to Rachel Maddow's Filibuster Challenge contest.]
4. The winning entry that Rachel Maddow ultimately selected: "....Waldman wins the Filibuster Challenge by christening the problem that's choking the last breath out of democracy as 'the Tarantino.' Because, of course, it kills bills."
5. If "kills bills" was the idea that won, and my entry (which included the specific explanation that we should "re-brand" the phrase "kill legislation") was "murder legislation", ipso facto, I was right THERE.
6. Let's not forget to add in the fact that I am generally a secretly major person who frequently has a major impact on major matters. 
7. Then there's the fact that I once (only once) emailed Rachel Maddow (my subject: she was mistaken in feeling appreciation for the anti-filibuster rhetoric uttered by Evan Bayh when he resigned his position as Senator, considering how he had previously threatened to stand with Lieberman in an anti-healthcare reform filibuster, an especially brazen and corrupt stance if one considers the fact that Bayh's wife is on the board at Wellpoint, the biggest health insurance company in the nation).  The day following my email, Maddow wore on her show the same fake crown I wear in my photo whenever I post a comment on Huffington Post as JonathanDS2U.  It has become my experience that such acts should not be seen as coincidental.
8. I believe it is therefore reasonable to conclude that it was because of my contribution that "kills bills" was ultimately selected as the contest winner.  It comes that close to me, the elephant in the room.  It would therefore be I who brought to the healthcare reform debate table a congealing of our collective, inner feeling that, somewhere (in the world of Rachel Maddow) there is a real connection between the words "homicide" and "filibuster", in terms of what "filibuster" represents in this situation.  One cannot endeavor to devise a tactic to massively undermine the health and survival of the underprivileged, and then escape being associated with words like "kill" or "murder".  Maddow's appreciation of the Tarantino association with the words "kills bills" generated the suggestion of "murder" that my "murder legislation" intended, and so "kills bills" reached the 9th yard line only after I brought a close variation of it to the 15th yard line (all of my ideas are automatically placed on the 15th yard line, because of my secret importance/the automatic seriousness attached to my actions).  
9. Touchdown. 
10. You don't have to thank me.  (Just do me one small favor: please don't follow with football references in discussing healthcare reform - I know you will forgive me my moment of "touchdown" - it just seemed to work, at least for a second or two.)