Swordfish

Yes, Bill (Bill Maher, host of the TV show, "Real Time With Bill Maher"), I noticed how your opening bit on the Friday, May 29th show could have been interpreted as a reference to my 1978 video, "How Did The Future Learn To Play Monopoly?" (my video which led to the Robert Zemeckis movie title, "Back To The Future", as the person I gave a copy to in 1978 was then Universal's spokesman for Zemeckis' first movie, "I Wanna Hold Your Hand"). Of course, you (Bill Maher) and I know this would be far from the first time you made use of an idea of mine (and let me take this opportunity to apologize for the time we were standing next to eachother at a newsstand in Westwood and I didn't say anything in response to the cynical look you gave the copy of Rolling Stone I was buying that featured Kurt Cobain on the cover, but if I had spoken I would have felt compelled to explain to you then and there my inside reasons for believing Cobain might have been murdered).

You realize, Bill (Bill Maher, host of the TV show, "Real Time With Bill Maher", for those of you just joining us), that the part of "How Did The Future Learn To Play Monopoly?" to which I refer is where Eugene responds to the repeated chanting of, "We wanna play Monopoly! We wanna play Monopoly!" by saying, "Alright, I'll teach you! Just stop torturing me!" You also realize that the idea here was that they were chanting like children, and that this was torturous to Eugene, who was then ready to tell them what they wanted to know.

Were you also aware, Bill (Bill Maher, host of the TV show, "Real Time With Bill Maher", for those of you just joining us, or for those of you who have such a poor ability to retain ideas that I'm always having to start from Square One to get to any explanation, such as having to perpetually reiterate the fact that I am secretly super-important to the point where much of what goes on in the central arena of entertainment and politics contains inside-references to me/my material, and that no matter how much evidence I provide I'm still always having to start from Square One), were you also aware I say again, that while many have made inside-reference to that video of mine, including Paul McCartney (former member of The Beatles), it is Will Ferrell who has repeatedly used that part of it - when he appears in the first Austin Powers movie; and when he made that YouTube video with the little girl that drew so much attention. [idnctsbottaositd] Furthermore, are you aware that Will Ferrell is sort of a man-of-the-hour, in that he will be the first guest of Conan O'Brien when Conan takes over hosting duties (on Monday, June 1st) of "The Tonight Show" (a show initially hosted by the father of someone who lived down the hall from me at CalArts during the 70s, Johnny Carson, who made inside-references to my video, "Steinhoff's Dostoyevsky's 'Uncle's Dream'" on the last night he had guests prior to his very last, lone, farewell show, a fact I brought to the attention of Craig Kilborn several days before the last night of his late night talk show, causing him to also make an inside-reference to that same video of mine on his last show, which featured Will Ferrell as a guest)?

And everyone (all over the place), are you aware that this could affect my proximity to Conan's first show?

Weighing this fact, and the fact that Conan will be receiving so much of the attention of so many in so nearly undiffused a manner on his first night (even if it is through talk and clips the next day and beyond for those who didn't see it), and also the fact that, with the latest nuclear "antics" of North Korean President Il, the planet feels strangely more tenuous than usual, I find myself also looking toward the gathering known as "The MTV Movie Awards" Sunday night (May 31st). This will be hosted by SNL's Adam Sandberg, who, as part of that show ("Saturday Night Live") has been involved in carrying out a few of my ideas now and then. That show will be sharing this special, nearly undiffused attention with Conan, at least in my view.

So, Bill Maher, Adam Sandberg, Conan O'Brien, Will Ferrell and myself should all sit down in a heavily guarded room, where none of our supervisors can be hired by the Republican Party to screw with us or whatever, and work out a way to defeat North Korean President Kim Jong Il, using this rare concentration of undiffused attention (or if not, Sandberg or O'Brien should do a comedy sketch about this idea of a secret, major summit of major comedy forces meeting for the purpose of defeating Il and saving the world).