Goodbye Old Paint

I am pleased to announce the release of my newest video, "In Orders We Trust", viewable at Archive.Org! Not to be confused with the strikingly similar non-video, written form of same!

To generate great excitement and buzz about this wonderful event, I shall include in this blog a reprint of the original email wherein "In Orders We Trust" was first released as a comedy sketch idea. I will not reprint here the entire comedy sketch idea itself as it appeared in that email, however - that can be found on my website and at Archive.Org. Besides, now that the video is here, the written sketch is more of an artifact than the true representative of the work itself. A curiosity at best.


WHAT WON'T BE SAID HERE

Not included in this edition of my blog:

I will not mention the specific non-Kiefer Sutherland cast member of "24" who drove by me on Saturday, which clearly was an occurrence belonging in the context of my references in my recent blogs to other "24" occurrences in relation to myself.

I will not go into detail on how the beginning of the new TV Guide Hugh Laurie piece is in direct connection with my description of coming upon Hugh Laurie or his look-alike recently, as described in my preceding blog (March 30th).

I will steer clear of describing exactly how the latest "Smallville" followed suit with many previous episodes by making inside-references to yours truly - even though the Iranian President subsequently did something, once again, to tie in with "Smallville" in relation to myself (Iranian President behavior initially alluded to in my Sept. 27, 2009 blog). Maybe someday it will be worth someone's while for me to describe this latest incident. For now, I don't see the point in having so many words fall on so many deaf ears.

Nor will I explain why I have concluded that Jon Stewart on last night's "Daily Show" reflected a cognizance of the release of my "Orders" video earlier that day.

To do any of these things would be to allow a trail of breadcrumbs to lead me and my credibility quite far out on a limb, where I would only be making sense to those responsible for my observations in the first place. And to those who appreciate that conclusions based on cumulative information can radically differ from those that result from a piecemeal approach. I would lose credibility with those unable or unwilling to make the somewhat substantial investment of of time and energy that a comprehension of my statements would require. And those unable or unwilling people can be the biggest pain in the long run, let me tell you. Not to mention those looking for an excuse to undermine me, for whatever ulterior purposes they might have.


REPRINT OF "IN ORDERS WE TRUST" EMAIL

Sent: Mon 5/15/06 11:06 PM
To: jim@frelaine.com; lara@redhourfilms.com

IN ORDERS WE TRUST

STUART/SEAN,

First, I ought to acknowledge that the last two Saturday Night Lives both used in their final sketches of the night significant references to my "Down The Hatch" sketch idea (sent to you two the morning of Saturday May 6th), as follows:

On the May 6th SNL, the last sketch had people who were freakish in the sense that they had more than two arms. In "Down The Hatch", Penny freakishly has two heads.

On the May 13th SNL, the last sketch had one person going through a bad hallucinogenic drug experience, while the other person was pulled into that person's perception. In "Down The Hatch", one tends to observe a strong similarity to bad hallucinogenic drug experience, as Penny goes from having an eye appear in her elbow, then a second head grows on her, eventually there's the impression that her feet have suddenly shrunk to the size of walnuts, and so on. Her friend is pulled into the horribleness of it to a degree, but it all seems strangely less than actual, and Penny is convinced to go to a restaurant and not let it get to her.

Secondly, thirdly, whatever, I ought also to acknowledge a bunch of other stuff, such as wood blocks music for Tom Hanks on Leno following my email about wood blocks music in relation to Tom Hanks. And the debate on SNL News on May 6th that used parts from "Little Darling" by The Diamonds, following my sketch idea for Tom Hanks ("You Said It", emailed April 27th), which specifically refers to this song. And the subtle "Limbo" movie references on the May 6th SNL inasmuch as "Limbo" related to me (CalArts student film, '73-'74). Then there's the references on the "Smallville" and "Earl" season finales that cumulatively refer to the Alec Baldwin movie "The Shadow" to the extent that that movie referred to my original "Mall Man" story outline.

So finally, my stupid sketch idea for this week's season finale of Saturday Night Live - but please bear in mind that I've come to expect that, while something of value may be found in it, the entirety of it would be rejected for legal reasons anyway no matter what its merits, an unfortunate realization which may be seeping into the quality of my writing:

"IN ORDERS WE TRUST" Comedy sketch idea by Jonathan David Steinhoff

[A sculpture garden with what appear to be life-size statues of different Greek gods (but turn out to be the Greek gods themselves), and a park bench.]

ZEUS: Yeah, well it wasn’t my fault, you’re the one who got her angry.
HERCULES: I got her angry, but thank you for not even warning me. Thank all of you for that....