All The News That's Fit To Make You Think I'm Nuts

The Telephone Game
For quite some time now, I have "felt" myself to be in the sites of people involved with "Ripley's Believe It Or Not".... I'm somehow "getting" that they want me to come up with a "Believe It Or Not" dance.... they need me to express in this dance the idea, "you ain't gonna believe this unless you take all kinds of trouble to research how I'm not a liar but worthy of your having great belief in me"..... that I should go through life with many of the important things I might need to say being tinged with a feeling of, "believe it or not". Someday I hope to prove in a soundbite how this feeling has been given to me, and is not of my own device. I just know I can prove it all in a soundbite.

Sorry, I just need to say the kind of stuff contained in the preceding paragraph every now and then. Should you read on, you may possibly see the relevancy for this being one of those every now and then occasions.

I Shot The Walnut
So yesterday I'm on my way to the nut house again (the Somis Nut House in Somis, California, where I get my almonds and walnuts, however, my readers may recall that I prefer to provide my detractors the chance to go, "Yeah, he belongs in the nut house!" at every possible opportunity, thus, I choose my words in a way that helps set up such remarks, it's the least I can do). And I'm right at that stretch where Paul McCartney drove by for my benefit once (see my August 8, 2010 blog, "Stuck In Traffic, Not"). I believe I reported that incident as hard to believe in most respects - it meant McCartney, on whom I have been a huge influence over the years, ran to California all the way from Canada for a day or so, in relation to my email to someone. Not like the new Clapton song about running back to someone's side, rather, more like a billionaire flying in a super-luxury version of first class so why really care about where you're flying to anyway, it's gonna be a fun time. Or so goes the theory. In fact, it was in that same blog that I expressed how I looked up on the Internet where on the globe McCartney was supposed to be, in order to help me evaluate whether I could actually have seen him then. And at some point after that I did a blog article about seeing someone who looked like another person I've been an influence on, Eric Clapton, after which I looked up his whereabouts on the Internet, at which point I learned the siting coincided with the day of Clapton's announcement of his first album in five years - as if someone knew the siting would cause me to look him up on the Internet that one day in five years.

One would also have to read other things I've written about Clapton, in order to more properly appreciate how I would construe this siting (and others) as having been specifically intended for me.

So there is Jerry Seinfeld driving by in his car talking on a cell phone, right in Paul McCartney's spot. Should I add in the fact that the person to whom I had sent that email that led to the August 2010 moment happens to be among those connected in a certain way with when Michael Richards of "Seinfeld" attended my school (CalArts)? Or that Seinfeld on a talk show appearance once talked and talked about introducing McCartney at an Obama thing? Another thing that should also be regarded as related: my Oct. 25, 2009 and Nov. 29, 2009 blogs, which essentially prove my major influence on the "Seinfeld" reunion on "Curb Your Enthusiasm". I've also mentioned in previous blogs how the entire last season of "Seinfeld" was seriously influenced by me as well.

What does it mean? Nothing. It's Seinfeld, it's not supposed to mean anything. The guy who played Uncle Leo on "Seinfeld" just died in Burbank, 50 miles from where I saw Seinfeld, he has a funeral to attend. That's the only sense most people need to make of this stuff.

Head of the Hats
I have often referred to my influence on "Smallville". Without going into detail, recently, shortly after a certain famous person drove by me/looked at me while she was wearing a certain hat, which I construed at the time as having been for my benefit for reasons I also won't go into, an episode of "Smallville" (Feb. 18th) featured the same type hat as serving to keep Green Arrow's identity secret. This episode in general related to Clark Kent coming up with something to wear to keep his identity secret.

I Follow You, Clapton
A recent news story went into a degree of detail regarding the great interest Kim Jong Il's son has in Eric Clapton. (This fact goes into storage until Ahmadinejad and his Steinhoff-mania can be tied in.)

The Boy Who Cried Don't Sound The Alarm

A few interesting things that may or may not be earthshaking.

I Only Hope That Someday People Who Ask Us To Research Things Will Be Banned From Our Country Club
On 6/7/10, 12:54am I posted a comment to a Huffington Post article, "It's Always a Bad Year to Get Out of Afghanistan," as follows:

However you feel about war, or a specific war, can you really ignore the chess game/tactical dilemma aspect? As such, the stakes connected with Afghanistan are not necessarily something that extend no further than Afghanistan's physical boundaries. And I personally apologize for making war sound cold to the point where it involves the people of one country with matters taking place beyond their national borders. And on this subject of seeing entities (national or otherwise) differently than those entities may wish to see themselves: Steven Spielberg is among the most prominent living Jewish people; The "concerns" of Arabic terrorists is not outside the sphere of world opinion of Jewish people; Two days before that empty vehicle was found on that busy New York City street (Times Square) and immediately became the focus of investigation, I posted something on YouTube referencing the origin of the "3rd Rock" ending - an empty vehicle found on a busy New York City street that become the focus of investigation. My description with that posting touched on Arabic terrorism. I am secretly super-important in relation to Spielberg. The YouTube posting is a matter of record, as is what I've said here about what it was in relation to. Now accept that these things happen in a chess game type context, and research it instead of taking refuge in non-creative approaches to cause and effect:

http://jonathands2u.blogspot.com/2010/05/knowing-where-to-look.html

Thank you.

And here's a fun after-thought, which regards something else terrorists may have "left on my doorstep" as an additional phase of the Times Square Bomber episode (just in case you actually do the research with real follow-through).

You may eventually have actually gotten around to a video of mine, "In Orders We Trust" (posted both at YouTube and Archive.Org). It is part of the story - it is referred to in the above-referenced "Come On, French Stewart, You Owe Me!", my YouTube posting of two days before the Times Square Bomber incident. The ending of the "Orders" video focuses on the question of whether or not a specific individual's actions should be looked upon as having been instigated by one of the conflicting parties, or: if that individual was acting alone.

The Pakistani Taliban initially claimed credit for the Times Square incident. They then denied that they deserved responsibility. Wouldn't you have to say they kind of did something "special" with regard to the question of whether or not a person acted alone?

The Pakistani Taliban are most scary if one considers how they are aimed at taking over Pakistan, which has a nuclear weapons arsenal. They once were within distance of this, it appeared, taking over stuff and being thirty miles from the capitol of Pakistan, etc. The territory they are in is not as opposed to them as one might wish. I believe our military involvement in bordering Afghanistan is connected to this. If they move on a nuclear arsenal and enough Pakistani people are resistant to accommodating US efforts to stop them, a base of operation such as Afghanistan could be the difference between whether or not the Taliban gains nuclear weapons. And for those who have completely avoided doing any research of any kind regarding this inconsequential stuff, the Taliban are very close with al Queda. If I'm spelling it wrong, perhaps someday you will find it in your heart to overlook my not being inclined at this moment to research the correct spelling. I'm busy.

Boom! (Goes The Drum)
So my new used car was left with one flaw after all the fixing up - the hubcaps rattled most percussively. Once resolved, as far as I can tell, it would be as perfect as one might expect a used car to be. Rattling hubcaps. You couldn't just tighten them, they needed to be replaced, because the things wouldn't tighten in the old hubcaps, the hole, the diameter had, well, I'm not going into that much detail. But I did not want to go around rattling all over the place. So finally I got around to getting new hubcaps, and then went for a test drive. I had to experience no longer being a rhythm section, now that this experience was available to me.

Apparently word had spread like a stone in a pond sending out ripples, or like soundwaves rippling out from a single.... well anyway, who do I suddenly see driving towards me, but a Ringo Starr look-a-like, in this really old English car from the '50s I think, wearing about forty coats of paint (the car), beige the latest one. Unless it was the real Ringo, I cannot say. Whoever it was, I knew why that person was there: the non-rattling.

And I am pleased to say, he clearly did not seem to feel himself to be in the presence of excessive percussive rhythm (nobody did). And as someone who has been a super-major influence on Ringo at various important times, I would like to state, here and now, that rattling hubcaps was never something I wished to include among my tools for generating influence.

Four! (or Fore, Whatever)
A comment I posted in response to a Huffington Post article written by Elayne Boosler of "Seinfeld" fame won a comment in response from Elayne Boosler of "Seinfeld" fame. I'll blow my own horn here (who else will?) and take this opportunity to again point out (as I have in an earlier blog or two) that I was an influence on the last season of "Seinfeld", and also on the "Seinfeld" reunion on "Curb Your Enthusiasm". So perhaps I should feel that I deserved that response from Elayne Boosler of "Seinfeld" fame.

My comment regarded, first, the "Seinfeld" episode about a golf ball being landed inside a whale's hole, and then, relating this to the idea of Tiger Woods doing the same thing, only as PR for BP.

The very next day Huffington Post had an article conjecturing on Helen Thomas doing PR for BP. People shamed in the eyes of the public doing PR for BP. Perhaps this is where I should take the opportunity to deny rumors that I'm the one who coined the well known comment about Nixon: "Would you buy a used car from this man?"

And Honorable Mention! (To Some)
Without going into detail, I should also mention that I was also a big influence on Sunday's MTV Movie Awards. Also, on some recent Daily Shows, perhaps Colberts as well.

Parallels In Parking

Weekly MONK/STEINHOFF VIDEOCLIP, 11.20.09
As I mentioned in my previous blog, I went on Thanksgiving vacation (actually I just returned), thus the reason behind my "tardiness" in presenting this November 20th Monk/Steinhoff weekly videoclip. It looks like this will be my second-to-last Monk/Steinhoff videoclip, as after November 27th's Part 1 episode of "Monk", there remains only Part 2, after which "Monk" will be no more. Perhaps Tony Shaloub will go on to new roles that won't be overshadowed by his "Monk" character, although it is hard to imagine. Perhaps it would work if he were to take the entire "Monk" cast with him on his next project?




Tempered Enthusiasm
Unless Matthew Perry was subtly telegraphing to me in advance something of a significant nature contained in the "Seinfeld Reunion"/"Curb Your Enthusiasm" season finale on November 22nd (see my "Curb" finale suggestion in my October 25th blog), I am totally huge in relation to creative decisions that went into this historic episode. When I suggested tinted car windows, my specific intention was to provide a way to touch on the idea of privacy at the strata inhabited by Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Matthew Perry, Paul Newman, etc. I believe I have succeeded: David's statement appears to be that certain approaches to privacy can inflict feelings known to all.

I now intend to redirect my focus to automobile glove compartments. I believe that if things keep going the way they seem to be in the world, the entire human race will, sadly, be able to fit into one glove compartment, with room to spare. This metaphoric approach may serve to help us all wrap our minds around the unthinkable (as metaphors often do), a grim necessity if we are to apply ourselves to the task of saving the planet. I have no problem with power windows or rear view mirrors.




Thick As A Rock
I plan to provide a videoclip regarding Joseph Gordon-Leavit and his recent "Fallon" and "Saturday Night Live" appearances, as I found these shows to contain inside-references to a particular music video of mine. Unfortunately, the opposite of Thanksgiving vacation is calling me at the moment, i.e., can't right now. I believe there to be a "Smallville" tie-in with this as well.


If These Cars Could Talk
On my way to work on Thursday, November 19th, I thought I saw Katie Holmes driving alongside me. This is particularly interesting for several reasons:

• I may be responsible for the fact that Katie Holmes first met Tom Cruise

• I saw a magazine cover a few days ago that stated she and Tom had public differences, causing her to walk out on him

• Stuart Cornfeld, to whom I occasionally refer in my blogs, runs a film production company (Red Hour) with Ben Stiller, which is making a movie with Tom Cruise ("The Hardy Men")

• I am currently working on my Spielberg "project" (as referred to in my October 30th blog), and Tom Cruise starred in two Spielberg movies regarding which I was an influence ("War of the Worlds" and "Minority Report")